TIME

This afternoon both children took a nap at the same time and I was able to have about an hour to myself! I chose to go outside and layout on a towel and read my Bible Study book! I of course got distracted by all that surrounds our backyard and what is in it! One of my most favorite creatures is a lady bug! No matter what day it was or where I was as a child I could always find a lady bug and I would run it to my mama as if it were a prize! She always would ask me what it was about lady bugs that made me so drawn to them... Who knows the answers I would give her... Well guess what was crawling all around me the ENTIRE time I was outside!!! Yep a fellow lady bug:) I just started laughing... If I'm honest I will say I watched the lady bug constantly for 20-30+ minutes. It was amazing to see it go from the bottom of one piece of grass crawl to the top, go down it crawl over to the next piece of grass and repeat the process for an exhausting half hour! I was tired just watching HER:)
So I decided to sit up and began to do a little reflection... TIME was on my mind! I started to think that lady bug is ME... Rarely do ever I have a moment of NOTHING to do... The only quiet time I give myself is when I'm spending time with God, which of course is the best time EVER, but I couldn't remember the last time I just "layed down" and concentrated on nothing, or enjoyed something as simple as a lady bug. I do give myself enough credit to know that things I do that keep me busy are positive things that benefit my family or someone else. Being a mommy of two babies I have let guilt override the right to have real ME. I tell myself that time for me will come when they get older and that they are focus for now... For example, Levi and I went to Vegas in January and I was completely miserable because I felt guilty for leaving my kids and didn't enjoy much. I spent more time looking at saved photos on levi's cell then I probably did talking to Levi and thats not a joke...
Anyway, after writing this long thought I decided today that without the guilt feeling I was going to give myself an hour a week of "NOTHING TIME" I imagine most of it will just be spent thanking God for being such a blessed girl, but none the less won't worry about the kids, think of school, worry about ministries etc... just me with me!! and I am so excited about it I decided to write a novel on my blog:) ha ha